i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
