This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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