Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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