Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
