They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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