She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
