Non-Jews are for practice
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize