suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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