I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
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You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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