I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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