how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
