New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
