i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
