remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
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So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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