You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
