There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
