We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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