her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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