I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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