I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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