so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
