It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
