Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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