im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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