This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
