My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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