But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
