I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
