Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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