I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
