Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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