How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
