she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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