Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
