I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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