dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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