OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
