She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
