I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
