Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
