I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
