We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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