Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
