Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize