Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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