I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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