i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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