Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
