his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
