HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
And then he peed in my hair
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
