escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
