Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
