I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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