doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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